The Diary of Frustrated Grad Part 2

I am Denzel. Denzel is me.

Im not here to be Captain(Queen) pessimistic or anything but...

I mean can I go back to grade 3 where life was cool and my biggest worry was making sure I didn't end up in the Principal's(my aunt) office?

Where my greatest desire was anything Lisa Frank (BTWs I now own a Lisa Frank makeup brush. you care :)

Here I am at 25 looking on a year out of college. (Rasshole(Wow) it's been a WHOLE year)

365 days post undergrad

12 months after the BA

AND I feel pretty shitty; now to be honest I knew things weren't gonna be great and I knew it was gonna be hard. Mentally preparing yourself for something is just a distraction until it's time in my opinion.

Cause here I am having known and thought of all the possible happenings; depressed and demotivated.

Yes I have a job (Thankful) Yes there's a roof over my head (Grateful) but for four years of torment and panic attacks lets just say the revolving door of coworkers that is my job.... that's another blog post.

So when people ask me how is life going it's pretty much this:

Me talking to my Mom about life and her making me feel better and/or offering a flight home:

Then two days later I'm like "Shoulda took that flight":

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Anyway, like I was saying life sucks but it's still so beautiful.

I'm trying to find the beauty so I'm working through it hopefully i find my beauty soon.

This slump that I've been in has paused so many things(like these blog posts I promised but just won't publish)

I'm still frustrated and looking for opportunities that fulfill me, I don't think this is me being a whiny millennial (Am I even a millennial?)

I'd just like for employers to take more chances on fresh meat and/or stop trying to take advantage of the freshness. (Did that makes sense?)

It's really amazing to me what having someone to vent to can do for your mood.

Get you one of those people or ten.

Those people keep you going, the people that believe in you even when you have no strength to believe in yourself.

x

Chavah