Whew! Hi there... We're all mad here.

Sooooooo I’ve been on this journey (basically) all my life of trying understand, accept and love my self.

With every day and year I learn something new.

I realize something different and I acknowledge attributes that make up the complexed being that I am.

Let people I genuinely interact with tell it.

I’m a pretty good person but problematic AF.

Let me tell it and I’m either the complete opposite or just slightly what people say I am. Never completely.

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In my eyes life has always been convincing myself I’m not what people say I am.

It has been about learning self acceptance. Proving the point that I define myself.

Tell me I can’t and I’ll show you that I can.

Coming from a place where defying negativity drove me, I’ve become very negative/doubtful.

I’m at the point where people believe in my hype as much as I do.

I don’t have to convince anyone. I'm shook!

No longer do I hear you can’t do xyz... I hear you’d kill this.

Now inner me is wondering can you do this?

Are you capable?

Are you worthy?

Are you all hype?

I’ve become afraid of failure. Stunting my own growth and potential.

(Even though you can’t see who’s watching you’re still self conscious.)

This is more of a diary than a blog most days.

I didn’t stop blogging because of lack of material.

I stopped because I psyched myself out.

I worried and still worry if my posts are worth your 5 minutes.

If my grammar is up to par. (Especially as a Com major😖)

If anyone wants to know or if what I have to say makes sense.

I get slight anxiety attacks every-time I know someone’s skimming.

It’s 2018 and I can’t afford to keep stunting my growth, undermining my hype and potential.

Cause fuck it.

I’m worth it ya know.

So are you!

Time waits for no man. Do what you want and if it doesn’t work out... on to the next one.

All of this to say 🙃

I’m back bitches (and non bitches)

I still ain’t shit

Back on my bullshit

xox

Chavah Ranks

(I'll catch the 50 errors after I publish this)